Happy Birthday chickpea. You are a big 4 today. Wow, 4! I just blinked and here we are, watching you make your own birthday blueberry muffins.
A little over four years ago, I was resting my puffy ankles at home smugly vowing to never become one of those gushing parents on social media who over shared baby details and photos (oops!). I had no idea then how much you would change me. How much I could love. And how much I would wish for life to just slow the heck down. I blinked, and my little baby is now my little lady.
The difference between three and four has been mind blowing. When did you get so smart? So tall? So confident? Where did all that sass come from? I might raise an eyebrow but secretly I love it – don’t ever lose it!
This year we’ve not only been able to to watch your mind and body grow, but your heart too. For someone so small, your heart is huge! Your kindness, your empathy, your passion, makes my own heart swell.
We’ve asked so much of you over the last year:
When Harry was sick, you never once sulked when you weren’t centre of attention. You patiently came to most of Harry’s hospital appointments – you even held his hand while he had his blood tests. Oh how he hates those. You didn’t know it, but you made Mummy brave.
When Daddy left us for two months to start his job in America, you were so understanding and so strong. You made Mummy brave.
When we took you out of your beloved nursery, away from your gorgeous friends, you never cried. You were excited about the future and all it’s possibilities. You made Mummy brave.
When we left your old home, your old familiar bedroom, Granny and Grandad, your home country, you didn’t drag your feet. You didn’t tantrum. You just took what you needed in your little Peppa Pig bag and held my hand all the way to Heathrow. You made Mummy brave.
I was bursting with pride watching you march in to your new pre-school the other week. Not a drop of fear, only excitement. On your second day, you raced in wearing a Simba Lion King mask as you wanted to make your new classmates and Miss Anette laugh. Your confidence blew me away.
Every time I start to worry about making new friends here in America, finding a new job, or finding our first home, I look at you and I’m inspired. I’m reassured. We’ve got this!
Thank you for being more than I ever imagined. Thank you for teaching me on a daily basis. And thank you for making me want to be a better person. You are the little lady who made me a mummy. My first. But forever my baby.
All my love, always, dodgy accent and all!