DISNEYLAND: THE CRAP BITS

It’s already been a month since Disneyland (*sobs*) and I figured that as I’ve already bored you with posts, pictures and videos about how much we ruddy LOVED it, I’d write a quick post about the bits that we didn’t like so much.

Please Mickey, if you are reading this, don’t take it personally….it’s just the British whinger in me. We will most definitely be coming back! 

DISNEYLAND AND CANCER

Seriously, one of the first things you see as you enter the ‘happiest place on earth’ is THIS sign: 

Legally, I am sure this is somehow necessary, but wow, talk about instant mood killer. Eek!

IT’S A SMALL, SMALL CASTLE

Maybe because I’m no longer 3 ft (just) but Sleeping Beauty’s castle, the centrepiece of the park, looked…..well,.. small. As a child I remember it dramatically towering over me – so much so that I was barely be able to see the window at the top of the tower. Standing underneath this stumpier looking castle made me feel old.  I’m all grown up now I guess…a little of the magic has worn off.


WHERE WERE THE LADS?

If you know me at all, you will know how I feel about Prince Eric. HOT! 

I was beyond excited to finally meet Eric as a legal, consenting adult, step aside JJ,…but do you think I could find my Prince? NO! In fact there was a real shortage of Princes when we were there. Even in the main parade, all we got was Aladdin and a Dick Van Dyke lookalike. Crushed. More of the lads please Disney.

BIBBIDI BOBBIDI BOO BOO CHILD

As part of Maia’s birthday celebrations, we were planning to take her in to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique under Sleeping Beauty’s castle to get a Princess makeover – there was a decent starter package for around $60, so we weren’t going to go crazy. Some of the top end packages are insane.


However, one quick glance at the girls coming out of the salon post-makeover and you would be forgiven for thinking it was an episode of ‘Honey Boo Boo.’ The hair and make-up was just so trashy and severe for my liking. NO thanks.

Here’s a cute tip though, you can still go in to the boutique and ask the ladies on reception to sprinkle their special fairy dust over your little one.  For FREE. Instant magic.

NO GUY IS WORTH WAITING THAT LONG FOR… EVEN MICKEY

We visited on school days and the queue to meet Mickey and Minnie in their houses in Toon Town was still well over an hour in the roasting sunshine. So we sacked it off. We’d already met them you see! Phew, tantrums avoided! And here is another great tip for you: if you can, book the character breakfast at the hotel in the morning. Not only was it brilliant fun and yummy, but you can tick a lot of character ‘meet and greets’ before you even get in the park, minus the queues.

Just DON’T be a moron and lose the character autograph book like we did. If Maia asks, Goofy is looking after it until we come back, got it?

IT’S EVERYONE’S FLAMING BIRTHDAY

When we checked in to the hotel, we were given birthday balloons, a Mickey autograph, and 4 x badges – one for Maia to let everyone know it was her birthday, and three others saying we were with the birthday girl. Great I thought, we are going to get some serious ‘VIP treatment’ in the Park for this. Woo! 

EXCEPT, everyone is wearing a flaming badge. It’s everyone’s fecking birthday.  Or if it’s not your birthday, you can get the family a badge saying it was your first ever time at Disney. Christ, you could probably get a badge to say you took your first crap at Disney.  Badges. Everywhere.  We didn’t feel special for very long (by we, I mean the parents / credit card bill payers. Maia was of course oblivious).

AMERICANS JUST CAN’T WALK! 

Disneyland is almost like a science experiment: we all know the USA is an aggressive driving culture and that Americans walk less than most people on the planet. So what happens when you put them in a giant theme park. On foot. With tourists from more pedestrianised cities!? Chaos, that’s what.SWEEPING GENERALISATION ALERT! They (Americans) walk SO, so slowly and so obliviously to other pedestrians – they will stop right in the middle of the walkway for no apparent reason. They can be damn dangerous with a stroller! They will rest every 100 strides (a spare bench was like gold dust!) The London walker in me was outraged –   don’t they know? There are rules for walking pedestrians, like road rules. Get outttta my way!

If only I could apply my aggressive walking style to my driving style, and I would fit right in over here! Sigh.

Despite all my British whining above, the good will always, ALWAYS outweigh the bad in Disneyland. ALWAYS. We actually can’t wait to go back and take on more of the rides as the kids get older and braver. My sharp pro-pedestrian elbows are ready for it. I am already dreaming of another room with a view like the one we had. This was our view from the Disney Paradise Pier hotel. PERFECT!

 

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3 thoughts on “DISNEYLAND: THE CRAP BITS

  1. Great post. You’re right. We Americans will stop anywhere without regard to who or what is happening around us. Another favorite, “chicken”, or who will move first? We will actually walk right into each other rather than move and give up our path to whatever we have our eye on. But it’s Disney and it’s all good. We became such Disney “freaks” that after college, my daughter moved to Florida and has been working at Disney since. I plan to follow in her footsteps in the next few years. Never been to Disneyland, maybe someday. If you have never been to Disney World you should try. Plenty of on-property hotel space and they are actually adding some new rides, attractions, and lands. And if I can make a recommendation, try staying at The Boardwalk. People watching from my balcony over the boardwalk can be fun. So many families, so many meltdowns.

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    1. Oh my goodness, I was saying to my husband how wonderful it must be to work at Disney. Everyone has a smile on their face! Thanks for the recommendation- I’ve only been to Disneyland as a tiny kid, so I’d love to go now with my own! Thanks for reading xx

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