I had to slap myself earlier in Walmart as I ran around looking for zoo themed birthday plates and napkins. They didn’t have any and I got upset. Tears and everything. Like napkins is a real problem….
You’d think I’d have a better perspective. You see last year Harry spent his first birthday in hospital in London after a case of double pneumonia. This year, he will be waking up in his own bed in sunny San Diego and playing outside with his brand new basketball hoop. What a difference a year makes.
But still I got upset over bloody napkins.
It’s because I want first birthday redemption. I want it to be perfect this year to make up for last year. To put it right.
There’s that word again. PERFECT. The all judging word that somehow ‘measures’ us. The word that makes us focus on the WRONG things in life. Usually the material things.
ENOUGH! (*slaps herself again*)
Harry won’t care that his plates and napkins don’t match. He won’t be comparing this birthday to last year’s. He won’t notice that I smudged the writing in his card (#lefthander). He won’t care as much as I did that he fell asleep and missed the lions (his favourite) at his birthday zoo day. He won’t care that his blepharitis eye condition has flared up again in time for family photos. I repeat, HE WON’T CARE!
He is feeling great. He is happy, and he is very excited for cake. He’d eat it off the damn floor if we’re honest so screw the party plates!
Today we will be celebrating everything Harry. His smiles, those eyes, those dance moves, those farts, that dodgy hair – everything. We will be celebrating just how far he has come, especially in the past 6 months – he’s now running. Not just walking, but RUNNING. He is also chatting up a storm with the expressions of a 60 year old wise man. He’s a hoot.
Today we’ll be celebrating the fact that now we know what he has, we feel on top of his condition (auto immune neutropenia if you didn’t know) – we know the drill. And we are hopeful he will grow out of it. He’s tough. He’s already proved that.
Forget the perfect celebration, the perfect cake and the perfect photos. It’s not about what I can do today to make it perfect. It’s about what we’ve got at home that is already perfect.
Harrison Leander Hunter, in two short years you have already given us so much to be proud of. And so much more to be grateful for. If that’s not perfect, then I don’t wanna know.