It’s seven months actually. I’m just a little late with the post.
Yes, seven months since our plane touched down on US soil. And so far so good. Phew! Compared to a hectic London working life, I feel like I’m living in that chilled Jack Johnson song… you know the one: “Slowww down everyone, you’re moving too fast.”
I’m so laid back compared to London Marie that I’m practically horizontal. And I’m happy. Really really happy. We all are actually. Sure, there are a heaps of things that I’m still not used to. I still miss my family daily. I still can’t bear being eight hours behind everyone else in the UK (I’m the last to know everything!) Nor can I bear that Harry says ‘wadder’ for water. I also still don’t understand why all the public toilet doors over here have such huge gaps around the side (WTF America?), BUT right now, we feel like we’ve done a good thing for our own little family. I feel proud of us.
But I’m not going to spend time on this post crowing about how much more time we spend together as a family over here. And OUTSIDE too, thanks to that big ball of yellow awesome in the sky. Or about how strong and reconnected JJ and I feel. I’m going to spend time doing what I do best. WORRY.
Because the truth is, our s*&t hasn’t even begun to get real over here yet. We are still living in-between lives – caught somewhere in the middle of what we had in London and where we want to be in California. We are essentially in time out. Which is a lucky, lucky place to be.
Currently there is zero work stress for me (I’m still not a legal) so I’m getting all these extra days with the kids with no frantic nursery drops / pick ups. There is also no rent / mortgage to worry about. Plus, we are so supported with childcare by JJ’s family, that of course we are feeling liberated and lining up the date nights. It’s just not real life yet.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m happy but I’m scared. Scared of what’s to come next. Because it’s coming soon. I should be able to work from the end of July. Eek. What kind of job am I going to get? Full time or part time? Where are we going to live? What school is Maia going to get in to? Are JJ and I just going to fall back in to the same hectic cycle that we found ourselves in in London and barely see each other?
Marie. STOP. Deep breath. Have a gin.
It’s just there are so many questions and I hate not knowing the answers. I was always a ‘read the last page first’ kind of reader. I don’t like surprises. Even now I’ll read the UK Game of Throne spoilers before we watch the show here. This drives JJ crazy. As does my endless worrying! He really is the ying to my yang with his whole SoCal ‘what will be will be’ attitude.
So I’m trying to channel SoCal and be more excited than scared. I am trying to switch the planning mode off. I’m focusing on enjoying the ‘time out’ with the family while it lasts. And I’m slowly starting to feel a much needed burst of determination and control. I won’t compromise. I won’t let us lose perspective of what’s important, and what we came here for. Because right now, I am hooked on a feeling. Life feels good and I want to keep it that way!